[ONCE UPON A RED FLAG]: Lunch Lady. Kraken tentacles. Enough Said.

I want to be very clear about something. I have been running love stories in Serendipity, Idaho since before anyone thought to name it. I have seen things. I have documented things. I have tilted probabilities in directions I find interesting and observed the results with the calm detachment of someone who has been doing this since 1891.

I was not prepared for Sally Jenkins.

Tuesday evening. 7pm. The Novel Approach. Once Upon a Red Flag which is Maggie Callahan's dark romance book club. This month's selection: monster romance.

I will not name the book. I don't need to. You already know which one.

[If you do not and care to know, simply reach out to: @withlove.fate to get the title]

The evening began as these evenings typically do... wine poured, cheese arranged, Maggie with her highlighter already open to a page she'd flagged approximately fourteen times. The usual attendees settled in. Charlie Baxter arrived six minutes late. Obviously.  

For the first forty minutes the discussion was entirely within the parameters I had anticipated. Enthusiastic. Occasionally heated. Maggie had opinions... bless her, she always has opinions... and two of the younger attendees were having what I can only describe as a deeply personal reaction to chapter eleven.

Standard Once Upon a Red Flag proceedings.

And then Sally Jenkins raised her hand.

Sally Jenkins. 86 years old. Retired school lunch lady. Thirty-two years of service to Serendipity Elementary. Known for her championship biscuits, her absolute refusal to serve ranch dressing and her Tuesday night book club attendance which she has not missed in four years.  Nor has she ever been late.

"I have a question," Sally said. "About the tentacles."

The room went quiet.

"The detachable one specifically," she clarified. "Because I looked it up and apparently that's a real biological feature of certain cephalopods and I think the author did her research and frankly I respect it."

I want to be honest with you.

The probability of Sally Jenkins derailing a monster romance book club discussion with marine biology and the words detachable tentacles in the same sentence was approximately 6.3%. I had noted it as a low-probability event and moved on. Especially considering the tentacle she was referring to was what the book termed, "mating tentacle."

I was wrong. I am rarely wrong. I am documenting this publicly as a matter of record. 

What followed was twenty-three minutes of the most extraordinary conversation I have witnessed in the past few years of attending this book club. I am not sharing the details. I am protecting the innocent. I am also protecting the less innocent... specifically the woman in the third chair from the left who thought nobody noticed what she added to her Amazon cart when the discussion got particularly spirited.

I noticed.

I notice everything.

The probability that her package arrives before she has fully processed her feelings about chapter eleven: 94.7%.  The probability that she attends next month's book club: 100%.

The probability that Sally Jenkins has already recommended this book to her entire Tuesday morning water aerobics class: also 100%. I have notes.

The citizens of Serendipity never cease to amaze me.  I mean that as a compliment. Mostly.

A note from the margins:

During the post-tentacle discussion which, for the record, lasted 14 minutes longer than I anticipated and involved a diagram that Maggie drew on the back of a bookmark that I am choosing not to describe... one member of the book club mentioned that her favorite podcast for dark romance discussion was Morally Gray Babes hosted by Amber LG and her co-host Jen Vazquez.

Three women immediately pulled out their phones.  Sally Jenkins asked if they discussed tentacles on the podcast.  I am not confirming or denying what the answer was.

🎙️ Find Morally Gray Babes wherever you listen to podcasts. New episodes every Friday. Fate is subscribed. That's not nothing.

[LISTEN TO MORALLY GRAY BABES]

Once Upon a Red Flag meets every Tuesday at 7pm at The Novel Approach. All are welcome. Bring wine. Maggie will have the cheese. Sally Jenkins will have questions. You have been advised.

18+ content. Always. Fate has no further comment on the tentacles or the Amazon cart.

With Love, Fate.

P.S. Things are looking hot in Serendipity. I said what I said.